The Bum

I heard his stomach growl from a block away

Before I even turned the corner

Felt the rumbling come from a bad block of wind

It blew back my tie

The fedora went flying

Vest buttons burst

Gold watch stood straight out behind me

Thank God for that chain!

Windows inhaled themselves into storefronts

Imploding cities wiped out forests

Insane volcano bombs cleared the continents into space

This man was one hungry bone

And I was sweet pâté

$25 in my pants

Belly full of cranberry pork-chops

Mashed potatoes

Three pints of cream ale

A healthy swig of bourbon

I’m vanilla mouse on the hoof to this guy!

He faced me like a gunslinger

Looked me square in the belly

Dropped a crushed cottage cheese container he’d been licking

A single grey curd fell from his tongue

He moved faster than light through time and space

With a POP!

To within inches of my shoes

Dirty porous nose sniffed me up and down

“I think,” he sang, “I’ve eaten here before”

“I recognize the centerpiece”