Gay Lawnmower

“Champagne for everyone! I’m engaged,” Montague hollered, entering The Rusty Pucker pushing a Toro Super Recliner lawnmower.

Blossom popped a fat cork and began overfilling flutes. “What the hell are you talking about,” she drawled gushingly?

“That Iowa congressman said if gay marriage was legal, people would marry lawnmowers. I agree, so I’m marrying this Toro tonight.”

Trusting the bottle into an ice-filled spittoon, Blossom pointed a dripping finger at Montague’s flagrant schnozzola. “You’re so ignorant I don’t know where to start,” she insisted.

“First, you can’t marry a borrowed lawnmower,” Blossom demanded.

“Second, she’s mine, and we’re lesbians.”